Everyone is saying it is divine intervention. I'm just gonna hope so. When people leave your life, let them... They weren't meant to stay for a reason. Still doesn't lessen my heartbreak.
It sucks to officially know I am the ugly one in the partnership. Now it is safe to say I'm dating a male model... Now I really have to tighten up concerning my looks 'cause I can't be dating such a gorgeous man and I look like shit myself!
On Saturday I won two free VIP tickets to a Cinco De Mayo party occurring at Jungle Island. I went with Brian... And man, I would have been so mad if I had actually paid to attend that event! I found it to be rather garbage - aside from it taking place in a zoo and me getting to see a bunch of animals I wasn't impressed. Leave it up to me to win tickets to an alcohol-related event and I hate to drink.
At Cinco At The Jungle, I entered a raffle hosted by a radio station to get free tickets to go to the Playoffs... AND I WON! Leave it up to me to win free tickets to that type of event and I hate sports.
I swear, I am lucky until it comes to actually winning money or finding a good man to date.
- Jamming To:"Barquito" - Tito El Bambino
I got my bachelor's degree in the mail on April 10 2014. My family was crying. I actually didn't although I thought I would.
Right now I just feel like shit because I feel like Dani doesn't like me as much as he used to. I feel like such shit. I am such a weak person deep down inside. It matters so much to me what people think of me. I want to be loved, liked, cherished, adored. I found a great gift to give to Dani for when I return to NY. I'm so excited to give it to him. I'm an absolute idiot I know.
I made accounts on OKCupid and POF again and have made contact with some interesting boys. So far the one I like the most is named Cesar and he travels for a living. That is like my DREAM! But that's not going to come true for me :(
The PD job called me again today asking about my references again. Apparently they have been waiting for a reply from Claudia but she wasn't returning their calls at all. I was told they actually got in touch with the head of HR at my job. Yikes! I gave them Carlos Trueba's number and 3 other numbers. I am so sure they will hire me. They said this reference check is what is keeping them from "continuing the process"... Oh my gosh this job would absolutely turn the game around. I could potentially go to law school for free. And I could very well consider this to be an internship and not a job. Omg!!!
Kendra came back to Miami for a few days and I already saw her. We're trying to coordinate meet-ups with Monica and Andrea.
I am trying to get more into modeling but it just is not panning out for me. I want to do fetish modeling but it just never works out. I need money dammit! Especially when
September rolls around, I have to start paying back my student loans then. :(
Why must America punish young people for trying to make something of themselves? It's so unfair how the people who don't amount to shit live the good life. Here I am trying to make something out of myseld but a young thug has to pay back 50k to the US government.
All of my favorite songs are sad in nature. Would this make me a sad person?
- Jamming To:"Un Beso Y Una Flor" - Nino Bravo
I randomly started applying to modeling gigs just for the hell of it. And I can't believe the overwhelmingly positive response I have been getting. I have so many gigs that I have been booked for. It is astounding.
Tomorrow I am going to get on an amino acid diet so I can drop a ton of weight quickly. I am so nervous but so excited at the same time!
- Feeling: nervous
- Jamming To:"I Dreamed A Dream" - Anne Hathaway
I was so strong when I was younger. I remember in high school being tough as nails. As soon as I graduated my toughness left me. Everything draws me to tears now! I always prided myself on my emotional strength but I oftentimes feel like I have lost it. Or maybe I'm finally becoming more "human"? I have been accused of being emotionless and a robot one too many times. I do have feelings! I really try not to show my feelings because I hold to the belief that emotions cause problems more than solve them. But the older I get the harder it is to hide them...
- Feeling: pessimistic
- Jamming To:"Brilhante ao Sol do Novo Mundo, Brasília" - Beija-Flor de Nilopolis
- Feeling: bored
- Jamming To:"Coloring Book" - Geek Squad
- Feeling: artistic
- Jamming To:"Dipset Anthem" - The Diplomats